Forgiving Self Position Statement

We are told that God will choose who to forgive, but we are required to forgive all men.  That "all men" includes ourselves.  When we have made big mistakes, those kind of mistakes that are life changing and hurt the ones we love the most, it is hard to get past them, hard to forgive ourselves.  Yet, we are still commanded to do so.  Guilt has its place.  It is a powerful tool that the Lord uses to motivate us towards repentance.  But once it has done its job, it is to be let go, absorbed through the atonement of Christ.  If we choose to hang onto it, guilt becomes Satan’s tool to hamper our progress.  It is wasted effort to cling to guilt or to covet the life we once had.  Once repentance is complete and we have done everything we can to rectify our wrongs, we must embrace the lessons we have learned and let go of the pain of the past.  We have to stop looking back and move forward. We must forgive ourselves.

Agency to Choose Happiness

Agency used righteously allows light to dispel the darkness and enables us to live with joy and happiness in the present, look with faith to the future, even into the eternities, and not dwell on the things of the past. Our use of agency determines who we are and what we will be.

Elder Robert D. Hales - April 2006 General Conference "To Act for Ourselves; the Gift and Blessings of Agency"
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2006/04/to-act-for-ourselves-the-gift-and-blessings-of-agency?lang=eng

Be Happy

Finally, and most importantly, choose‍ to believe in the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Accept the Savior’s forgiveness, and then forgive yourself. Because of His sacrifice for you, He has the power to “remember [your sins] no more.”²⁴‍ You must do likewise.  After you are on the path and are “free to choose” again, choose to reject feelings of shame for sins you have already repented of, refuse to be discouraged about the past, and rejoice in hope for the future. Remember, it is Satan who desires that we be  miserable like unto himself.  Let your desires be stronger than his.  Be happy and confident about your life and about the opportunities and blessings that await you here and throughout eternity.  

Elder Robert D. Hales - April 2006 General Conference "To Act for Ourselves; the Gift and Blessings of Agency"
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2006/04/to-act-for-ourselves-the-gift-and-blessings-of-agency?lang=eng

Healing Takes Time

No matter how difficult something you or a loved one faces, it should not take over your life and be the center of all your interest. Challenges are growth experiences, temporary scenes to be played out on the background of a pleasant life. Don’t become so absorbed in a single event that you can’t think of anything else or care for yourself or for those who depend upon you. Remember, much like the mending of the body, the healing of some spiritual and emotional challenges takes time.

Elder Richard G. Scott - April 1986 General Conference "Finding Joy in Life"

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1996/04/finding-joy-in-life?lang=eng

Meekness Through Submission

·         Every one of us is more beloved to the Lord than we can possibly understand or imagine.  Let us therefore be kinder to one another and kinder toward ourselves.  Let us remember that as we wait upon the Lord, we are becoming “saints through His atonement, … submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon us, even as a child doth submit to his father.

      Elder Robert D. Hales - October 2011 General Conference "Waiting Upon the Lord: They Will Be Done"

      https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/waiting-upon-the-lord-thy-will-be-done?lang=eng

Forgive All Men

Jesus said, “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.” ¹⁹ ‍ Start with yourself, and forgive others as well. If God will not remember our repented-of sins, ²⁰ ‍ then why should we? Avoid wasting time and energy reliving the past.

Our Father in Heaven is saddened when we limit the power of His Son’s atoning sacrifice. As you exercise faith in Jesus Christ, you can have your guilt “swept away.” ²² ‍ If guilt remains after sincere repentance, believe your priesthood leaders when they declare you to be worthy. ²³ 

Elder Anthony Perkins - October 2006 General Conference "The Great and Wonderful Love"

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2006/10/the-great-and-wonderful-love?lang=eng

The Worth of Souls is Great

God the Father‍ is merciful and has infinite love for you despite your faults. Only the voice of Satan will cause you to feel of no value. In contrast, the Holy Ghost will cause you to feel “godly sorrow” ¹⁰ ‍ unto repentance in a manner that fills you with hope of positive change.

When you feel worthless, “remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God.” ¹¹ ‍ Refrain from repeatedly thinking or saying negative words about yourself—there is a clear difference between humility and humiliation. Identify and use your unique talents rather than dwelling on your weaknesses.

Elder Anthony Perkins - October 2006 General Conference "The Great and Wonderful Love"

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2006/10/the-great-and-wonderful-love?lang=eng

Remember Them No More

The Atonement is not a general thing that is for the whole Church. The Atonement is individual, and if you have something that is bothering you—sometimes so long ago you can hardly remember it—put the Atonement to work. It will clean it up, and you, as does He, will remember your sins no more. 

President Boyd K. Packer- April 2015 General Conference “The Plan of Happiness” 

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2015/04/the-plan-of-happiness?lang=eng

Forgiveness Means Forgiveness

Sometimes, even after confession and paying penalties, the most difficult part of repentance is to forgive one’s self. You must come to know that forgiveness‍ means forgiveness.

President Boyd K. Packer - October 2010 General Conference "Cleansing the Inner Vessel"

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2010/10/cleansing-the-inner-vessel?lang=eng

Don't Look Back

In turn, he asked her to read to him from the Old Testament the account of Lot’s wife, who was turned to a pillar of salt. Then he asked her, “What lesson do you gain from those verses?”"

She answered, “The Lord will destroy the wicked.”

“Not so!” President Smith said that the lesson for this repentant woman and for you is “Don’t look back!” 

President Boyd K. Packer - October 2010 General Conference "Cleansing the Inner Vessel"

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2010/10/cleansing-the-inner-vessel?lang=eng

Needless Suffering

When memory of past mistakes encroaches upon your mind, turn your thoughts to the Redeemer and to the miracle of forgiveness with the renewal that comes through Him. Your depression and suffering will be replaced by peace, joy, and gratitude‍ for His love.

How difficult it must be for Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer, to see so many needlessly suffer, because His gift of repentance is ignored. It must pain Him deeply to see the pointless agony both in this life and beyond the veil that accompany the unrepentant sinner after all He did so that we need not suffer.

Elder Richard G. Scott - October 2000 General Conference "The Path to Peace and Joy"
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2000/10/the-path-to-peace-and-joy?lang=eng